Wilson update

Wilson is still growing by leaps and bounds. I decided that I would post monthly updates instead of weekly, even though I am taking pictures of him almost daily. I guess I should take some pictures of my kids??? Anyway, we moved his kennel out of our room last night in hopes that we would all sleep better...and we DID! I was so proud of him. He cried for a bit, not long and then only got up once to go out. Other than that we all slept very well. I hate having to be the "pack leader" sometimes. It is oh so hard to be firm with this sweetheart. I am overwhelmed at his behavior sometimes, so polite, so eager to please, and good grief, so darn cute. He conquered another milestone this morning and went the whole 2.8 miles with me around the "loop". We've been half way up to this point but went all the way this morning and he did very well. He became quite a bit more cautious when we started down the trail he had never been down, but he was a brave little soldier. 

Photos

Well, Saturday the weather finally broke and I was able to get out with my new toy. I wanted to get some pictures of deer but was unsuccessful. I wandered about the pastures finding anything of interest to shoot. I only shot about 200, these are the best ones. None of them made me have that heart stopping feeling that I get when I know I've just captured something amazing, but they are nice to look at. I am so excited that I now have a great camera so that I will have heart-stopping moments of photography, and I'll be sure to share when I do. 

The Best Christmas Present EVER!!

Tis better to give than receive. I believe this with all my heart and now I sit here in shock over the best "thing" I've ever received. I'm so unsettled about how to feel, for I feel I did nothing to deserve it. My family sat around me this morning as I nervously dug into my gift, one that I wasn't expecting, except for the fact that I knew they were all up to something! I thought maybe they were getting me a bunny or a donkey or something, not this. It did enter my head but it shot right back out when I though of the expense. They all pooled their money together to bestow this grandest of gifts upon me. My hands shook as I touched it and tears fell and I knew that as much as I loved it, that I would have much rather been on the giving end of this deed. I wondered why it is so hard for us to accept gifts, especially ones as great as this. I guess because it is more blessed to give. I know this now more than ever, however, I also know that the only proper response to a gift is gratitude, and I am indescribably grateful. So prepare yourself because I'm about to go on a photography spree like nobody's business. 

Winter Wonderland

Oh my goodness how pretty everything is this morning, and how terribly freezing. When my alarm went off this morning, I turned the radio station to our local channel and was shocked to find that my kids were going to go to school despite it looking like a giant popsicle outside. The roads, thank goodness, were not that bad but Rodney and I decided that we would be more at ease if we took them instead of letting Taylor drive. 

The birds are surrounding my house in droves and I've put out lots of food for them. They are so lovely to look at and I have been filling up with winter time cheer every time I look out the window. I worked yesterday afternoon for a while in the cold building a shelter for my goats to get in out of the weather. They were ever so grateful. I've been watching them this morning and they are just barely poking their heads out wondering when I'm gonna come feed them. I guess I better get on my warm digs and get out there. We've got a lot of farm work to do today...chickens are coming on Thursday. It will be an adventure to say the least, just getting off the porch is challenging. I've already busted my butt once. Don't worry though, I've got padding.   

Crap happens

Don't Sophie and Charlotte and Wilson look so cute standing in the door? No, the glass in my door is not very very clean, it is not there anymore. We had a little mishap yesterday, one that I knew everyone would want to know about. I'll be adding this story to my "white trash" memoirs.

Yesterday, I decided to let my goats out of the pen so that they could have a little freedom and browse around on the vegetation in my yard, perhaps do a little bit of hedge trimming and fruit tree pruning along with some fertilizing. Amazing how versatile a goat can be. I'm sure the story is already taking shape in your head. I had to go help Dad on a job in Gillham and, when he came to get me, I jumped in the vehicle paying no attention to the goats grazing in my front yard. Oh, the thought crossed my mind that it would be smart to put them up but I thought "they're just little goats, what kind of trouble could they get into?" So after being on the job for a few hours, I got a call from Taylor who had just arrived home from an upward bound event in Mena.

• 
  
• "MOM" the voice on the phone said in a panic, "We've got a MAJOR problem", 
  
• 
  
• "Oh no" I said "what's wrong" You could imagine the thoughts going through my mind
  
• 
  
• "OK, Did you know the goats were out?" 
  
• 
  
• "Yes" I said
  
• 
  
• "Well, you know our front door, the glass one?"
  
• 
  
• "Yeah??"
  
• 
  
• "Well, it's not there anymore"
  

So, then I had to decide, do I get upset about this? Should I rush home and make a big deal about it or continue on working and deal with it later?
I decided to let it slide. Taylor put the goats back in there pen, I'm sure with a small amount of scolding. Taylor doesn't let anyone get away with mischief...not even me. She also cleaned up the glass (sort of). We figured that Mo, our buck, saw his reflection in the glass and decided to head butt himself. Rodney had been home earlier and said that Mo was really being rambunctious.
So, now I have no glass in the front door and with the way things get fixed around here, it may be that way till next Christmas. But at least I can tell people that my GOATS broke the friken thing. The good things is that the breaking of the door must have scared the poor goat so badly that he and the rest of them ran away from the house and apparently didn't come back. What a mess we would have had if they decided to come on in and make themselves at home. I can see it now, Christmas tree turned upside down and half eaten, little goat poop everywhere, furniture torn to shreds...I shudder at the thought. Yes, I may go down in the bumpkin hall of fame before my life is through. If you know me at all, you'll know that this doesn't bother me in the least.

Dreams

This is the best depiction I could come up with for my dream last night. I did some research this morning and found out some interesting things about myself. I really wish I had Daniel or someone to interpret this dream for me and not have to rely on internet research, although I find it fascinating.

I've always felt that my dreams were an insight into my soul, what is really going on in my life, revealing things about me that, in my waking life, I'm not able to see.

So, last night, I was very busy planing seeds in a very long hallway. They were growing instantly into beautiful flowers. I was digging into carpet, tile, linoleum, digging through layers to get to the earth and there I was placing seeds. When I got to the end, I'd left a trail of all different kinds of vegetation.

The first thing I looked up was "hallway" and this is what I found. To see a hallway in your dream, symbolizes self exploration and the beginning of a  path that you are taking in life. You are going through a transitional phase in your life and journeying into the unknown. It signals spiritual enlightenment, emotional growth physical prowess, new opportunities and mental passages in your life. 

Then I looked up plants and it said.. To see plants in your dream, indicates fertility, spiritual development, growth or the potential for growth. Alternatively,  the appearance of plants in your dreams reflects your caring and loving nature. 
In particular, to see indoor plants in your dream, suggests that your growth is being hindered or slowed in some way. You are experiencing a lack of independence. Alternatively, the dream signify your desire to be closer to nature.

The last thing I looked up was seeds.To see seeds in you dream, symbolizes fertility, heritage, and potential. It also represents the continuity of life. Alternatively, it relates to the human psyche and soul. An idea has been planted in your mind and new experiences are created.


The conclusion that I came to was that apparently I'm on my way to some serious spiritual growth. I love that I am journeying through the unknown. Whatever path that I am on, I am thrilled that I am on a path of constant growth and I sure hope I am leaving a beautiful imprint behind me.

10 Weeks

Wilson gained a little over a pound this week, apparently all of it went to his EARS! Just look at those bad boys. Maybe Weimeraner's ears grow to their full size in 10 weeks and the rest of the body must catch up. There are times when he reminds me a little bit of Dumbo, like when the wind is blowing them horizontal and he looks like he could take off at any moment. He is so smart and doing the cutest things, although he still sleeps for much of the day. I guess I'd sleep a lot too if I was growing that fast!

The STARE

Most dogs that I know, when they want a hand-out, will pitifully give you a look that says, "have pity on a poor poor puppy and feed me, I am starving to death and I am so lonely and sad, please feed me." Well Wilson has another way of going about this. We have come to call it  "the stare". I think he is trying some sort of doggy hypnosis...take a look

See, Charlotte has a pretty typical look, "mommy, feed me", while Wilson is going "look deep into my eyes...you want to give me food, lots and lots of food"

"you want to give me your cookie, you want to give me your cookie"

"you want to make me bacon everyday"

"look deep into my eyes, you must give me greasy hot chicken skins"

"I am eternally grateful for pork fat, it makes my skin so shiny"

I also have to mention that along with all of the other bountiful blessings in my life, I've also been blessed with paw prints on my kitchen floor. After living on the farm for 9 years, I've had to make peace with the dirt and mud. I encourage all of you to do the same. Embrace the dirt, love the mud, it came from the earth, what could be more natural?

The First of December

Wilson woke me up around 5:30 this morning to go potty. When I opened the door I was hit in the face with little bits of cold slush and the porch was covered in this strange frozen frothy substance. In the blur of sleepiness, all of this was quite foreign and peculiar and while Wilson was out doing his business, I stood in the doorway in a stupor, confused and sleepy and cold. It wasn't until he woke me again at 6:30 that I opened my eyes and looked outside and exclaimed "It snowed?!?!?" Then it all became clear to me. I guess nothing is quite clear at 5:30 in the morning. After the kids started stirring about, Taylor was walking through the hall and I said "hey, Taylor look outside", she turned and blearily looked out the door and said "no freakin way!" Then Kyle did his normal Daffy Duck woo hooing. The snow wasn't a hinderance as far as travel went so they had to go to school.  It is all but gone now but it sure did make my little double-wide-cottage look Christmasy and festive considering that this is the first day of December. The old-timers are calling for a snowy winter because the persimmon seeds are shaped like spoons. Now who can argue with a scientific theory like that?? I guess we will see. 

A few of my favorite things

Yesterday, despite not feeling well, I got my Christmas tree put up. It actually went pretty smoothly, more so than in years past. Kyle was my only assistant since Taylor was at Mamaw's house with her cousins. Wilson helped a little bit too by unwrapping ornaments and running off with the tissue paper. I thought I'd show you a few of my favorite ornaments...

This one is was made by my Aunt Sandy. It is a small gourd painted to look like a snow man and festooned with a gorgeous yarn cap and scarf. 

Kyle brought this one home in second grade. It was made by two of his favorite teachers, one who is no longer living. 

I have several of these ginger bread men on my tree. I made them several  years ago out of salt and flour (wheat flour). They look so country and cute and very happy to be hanging in my tree by a hole in their head.

Now, Darth Vadar here, as out of focus as he may be, is so completely awesome. He has been on my tree for about 10 years now so he deserves some recognition. He was a gift from Granna to Kyle. Not only is he cool looking, but every time I plug my tree back in, this low ominous breathing begins to fill the room and then James Earl Jones' voice announces, "The force is with you young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet". I never hear Darth Vadars voice without sugar plums dancing in my head. 

This one is also Kyle's and one of my most cherished ornaments. He made it in kindergarten from a sweet-gum-ball and toothpicks. It the most challenging to pack away but it is thrilling to take it out of the box every year.

This one always makes me all warm and toasty inside, and it also makes me want to weep like a little girl. It is Taylor's hand made into a Santa Clause back from 2nd grade. I always hold it in my hand for a moment and remember when she was this small. It's almost too much for this old heart to bear. (Please note the crazy camera cyclops in the gold ball ornament)

I guess I don't need to tell you how this one pulled at my heart when I unwrapped it. When it got packed away last year, Buddy was still part of our family and there was no indication that he wouldn't be for a long time. A lot can change in a year.

But look who's under my tree this year! Life goes on even though at times it hurts. Children grow up, grandparents die, pets come and go. I guess the older I get the more important these little trinkets of memories become. It isn't the glitter and the glue that is so completely invaluable but the memories tied to them. Those are the things that last forever. 

9 weeks

With all of the holiday festivities going on around here, I failed to post Wilson's 9 week update. His weight is now 12 pounds. I think every time he wakes up from a nap he is bigger than he was when he went to sleep. We've just about got the potty thing down which is making momma very happy. He spent Thanksgiving with the family at Mamaw's house and was particularly fond of Brody, one of the newest family members. Wilson doesn't understand the concept of Saturday yet and still gets up at 6:00 a.m. so I guess I can forget about getting to sleep in forever. I'm getting so much more done in the mornings now! 

Thanksgiving was lovely except some sort of flu bug is sweeping through the family. I spent yesterday camped out on the couch with fever and aches. I'm feeling better today and I am thankful that the human body is as resourceful as it is and can heal itself. My dads e tou fe' was healing and cathartic and I'm sure boosted my immune system and now has me feeling better. I wonder what he puts in there???

METALLICA

I wish this was a better video but it is all I could accomplish with my phone. Ok, if you ever get a chance, go to a Metallica concert!! I guess if you aren't a fan you should probably stay away because I've learned that Metallica fans are incredibly loyal and are a one of a kind group. When we were waiting in line outside the arena, about every five minutes a wave of cheers and screams would pulse through the crowd, almost like a pack of coyotes. It was quite primitive. Suffering through the first two bands was nearly more than I could bear but when the lights went down and the first pick of the first guitar echoed through the arena, my heart began to pound and it didn't stop until the band ran out of the arena. I wanted to follow them and become a groupie, but I figured I'd better come back home with my family. We all had so much fun and have been recounting every detail since. I guess the best part, other than the skull-shattering, kick-ass music, was the camaraderie of the fans. The guy in front of us even high-fived us when he found out it was our first time. I'm a bigger fan now than I was before. If you have time, watch one of my favorite videos.

It will give you a small taste of what the concert was like (besides the awesome video that I made with my phone)  

They're Baaaack

The mallards that winter here on the farm are back. I am quite fond of these guys, they are so peaceful and mysterious. Usually when winter begins to set in, I start to look for them out on my pond, just like I anticipate the return of the martins in spring. What thrills me most is knowing that, more than likely, these are the same ducks that return here year after year. I so wish I could talk to them about their travels. Where did you go this summer little ducks? Was is lovely? Did you see the ocean? Were the elements hard on you? Did you think of me and long to return? The fact that they did travel far and return is reward enough, I guess. Perhaps not knowing the details is what makes their presence here all the more unexplainable and peculiar. I just know that it makes me happy to have a chance to admire them, not just for their obvious beauty, but for their perplexing lifestyle. We could all learn a thing or two from our webbed-footed friends. 

8 weeks

Wilson is 8 weeks old today. He weighed 9 pounds this morning. I was kind-of surprised that he didn't weigh more because this is a mere 0.8 pounds more than last week. I've had to adjust his collar and he certainly looks and feels bigger. His personality is emerging more and more and we are finding ourselves laughing at him a lot, as well as saying "no no Wilson". So far he hasn't met a person that he doesn't like which I think is so sweet. He barked this morning when Mom and Dad came over, the first time he has shown his protective instincts. I am loving the way he is developing, look at that stature already. 

and look at that tooshy! I think he is saying, "a doggy tooshy can be a thing of beauty, no?" And maybe a little hint of "Momma please put down the stupid camera". 

Madness??

Rodney and I have been married for 17 years now and have known each other for almost 18. I believe that you can never really know someone completely, you may think you do, but it just is impossible to know every detail. Even as open a person as I know myself to be, there are still things that are only mine and I keep them for myself. As my marriage has evolved into the state it is now, which I consider quite lovely and genuine, I have had a lot of insight into the way my husband moves through this life. You know, it is that delicate dance of giving and taking, of learning the neuroses that make your mate tick and making the appropriate modifications so that there will be peace. 

The personality trait that is the most dominant in my darling husband is his perfectionism. This comes with all kinds of side notes here but for the most part, he does things slowly and correctly and takes much consideration of every detail. Now for a person like myself who is quite hurried, very messy and can juggle ten things at once...this can be extremely taxing on my nerves. I have learned to, not just accept, but love his precious condition of needing things to be just so, because he has completely accepted my crazy, unorganized, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, impatient disposition. 

Well, tonight something happened that I don't think I'll ever be able to erase from my memory and I don't think I'll ever be able to see him in the same light again. I have watched this man do things that to me seem insane, like taking a half hour to wash a pan or carefully cleaning every toenail with his pocket knife, or spending what seems like an eternity rolling up an extension cord...but I've accepted it, bit my tongue and moved on. 

Ok, so this is what happened. We were both doing some "quick" tidying this evening around the house. Loading the dishwasher, sweeping etc...no big deal. I had borrowed my moms Rainbow vacuum cleaner which was sitting in the kitchen and he asked me how to use it so he could vacuum the living room. It was so sweet, I thought, and I helped him get it set up and went back to folding clothes. While I was folding clothes I looked over at my precious husband who was very precisely rolling the cord up on the vacuum, then he moved it about 15 feet, carefully unrolled it and plugged it in. Um, is this normal??? Does this strike anyone else as odd or is it just me?? My brain is still in shock and I don't think I can get over this. I don't know if I'll ever be able to see him in the same light again. I'm quite concerned about his mental state. If you read my last few blogs, perhaps we would all benefit from some profession help. 

Disturbia

I participated in, well headed up, a quite disturbing activity today. Kyle was gone today to a cheer competition in Little Rock and Taylor and I decided that it would be a good day to bed-swap. My mamaw gave me a queen sized bed a few weeks ago to which Taylor laid claim, but this meant moving her bed out, to which Kyle laid claim, which meant moving Kyle's bed out, to which my mom laid claim. So, do you have all that straight, we had a bunch of bed moving to do. The first bed that needed to go to begin our bed-moving proceedings was Kyle's. This meant that we had to GO IN to Kyle's room. Normally, this space is avoided at all costs and we pretty much live in denial of it. It's the big elephant in the house which we are normally quite happy to ignore. Well, today we faced it head on. Taylor and I are both now convinced that he needs to be institutionalized. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the evidence...this is ADHD at its zenith. 

Exhibit A

A bottle of some sort with an unidentified substance in it...

and Exhibit B

A stack of DVD cases, none of which had any dvd's in them

A basket with random accoutrements...a deflated volleyball, box-cutter, vcr tape

binoculars, and a single glove

The GALLON bag above was recovered from a drawer in the room...could someone please call 1-800-tooth decay

And then there is this chair, was it involved in a tornado incident? Was a giant rat turned loose?? Somebody explain this to me!

This is more disturbing than the rest, it is oddly unsettling how organized this tackle box seems to be in the middle of the rest of the disorder.

A medieval torture devise of some sort??

The only thing I can say about this tarantula is "free willy"

Anyone, anyone? Can you splain this??

It starts to look better as the day goes on.

And finally, peace. I sure hope it stays this way. I built the bed for Kyle today. I used rough lumber that was left over from a building project here on the farm, that way when he gets the urge to carve on it or do some sacrificial ceremony upon it, the loss will be minimal. 

Momma needs a bigger lap

I've been lounging around this very windy cold Saturday morning. The doggies all got sweaters yesterday so that they would be more comfortable in the cold wind. Wilson, surprisingly liked his and didn't protest much at all. Of course it will probably only fit him for about another week, if I'm lucky. But I'll have something to keep and look at and go, "Oh my goodness, remember when he fit in this??" I am having a little complication with the room I have in my lap...I'm wondering if I should cuddle in shifts, get a bigger chair or just start sitting in the floor. There will come a day when Wilson won't be able to fit in this picture so there will have to be some adjustments made, but for now, this feels pretty nice. 

7 weeks old

Wilson is 7 weeks old today. Gosh, it seems like just last week I was going to get him...wait a minute, that was last week. I am keeping a record of his growth and am happy to report that he has gained a whopping 2.8 pounds this week. That is quite a leap considering he only weighed 5 when I got him. He is doing so well and learning so quickly. We had a milestone this morning and walked from Granna's house to mine, a whole half mile...and on a leash too!!! His cuteness is more than I can bear sometimes, it's like kryptonite!! He shoots me a look and I have to sit down from the weakness in my knees, and loosen my bra from the swelling of my heart. 

He slept until a little after 5 this morning, although Momma was awake at 2:00 in anticipation of him waking. I've been referring to myself as "momma" so much and talking puppy talk I can't seem to quit when I'm in public. 

Well, Momma's got to go do some laundry while baby is napping. 

consequences

We have all had to suffer consequences. Being a parent of two teenagers, I want them to learn life lessons that will stick and possibly help make them better people. Unfortunately, this means that I will have to step aside and (gasp) let them suffer for their mistakes. Now Taylor is a pretty responsible young lady. I don't have to worry much about her activities because she stays on top of things and lets me know what is going on. Kyle on the other hand, occupies his own private planet that I only sometimes am invited to.  Usually when he makes a mistake, it is someone else's fault or some cosmic force working against him, not anything that he has done. This morning when we arrived at the school at 6:30, like we do most mornings for cheer practice, he let out a big sigh and said, "Could you get me a shirt and tie together and bring it up here, we are supposed to dress nice on game days".  How many times has this happened, "Mom, I need you to sign my permission slip" while sitting in the parking lot, "Mom, I have a project due TOMORROW", "Mom, there is a bake sale today and I have to bring cookies!" So, this morning, after he announced this I decided that I wasn't going to bale him out this time. To which I got a loud "FINE" and a car door slammed. He will live through the humiliation of being the only one on the team who is in jeans and a t-shirt. I hope that he gets reprimanded by the coach is some way as well and perhaps next time, he will think ahead and let me know these things at an appropriate time. A few years ago, before he got this recent surge of horrid testosterone, he had to sing at a Christmas program but didn't let me know until the day of that he needed a white shirt. Well, guess what, we didn't have a white shirt and he was the only kid in a sea of white-shirted kids with a brazen red shirt on. It was precious to me then. I wasn't embarrassed, I just remember thinking that I would always remember that. This is hard, this mother thing. I guess if I get out of it with a few shouts of disapproval and a few doors slammed in my face, I'm doing ok. Doing the right thing isn't always easy but I'm sure in the end, it will pay off. 

Anxiety

A little after midnight last night, a storm showed up. The first thing that woke me was a loud boom of thunder, this is never a good thing for me to wake to. Middle-of-the-night storms are the worst, you don't know what's coming, you can't see what's happening, all you can do is listen to the wind and the thunder and pray that you will be spared some Wizard of Oz type fate. I was laying there awake, of course, then I thought "oh no, if Wilson wakes up, I'll have to take him outside in the rain to potty". Thinking this caused quite an anxiety episode and I started a long brain storming process...I was wondering "why I'm I laying here anxious about my puppy? Am I worried about the puppy? Wait a second, this is not the first time I've freaked out about a storm...I think I need professional help, where would I find a good mental health professional, I wouldn't be able to afford it, oh there's some more lightening, did I turn the computer off? I better go unplug it, I know I can't afford another one of those, I'm thirsty, if I get out of bed I might wake up the puppy, there you go worrying about Wilson again, what if HE is thirsty, should I wake him up? no, I read that you aren't supposed to wake a puppy, I guess I could go get a drink and while I'm up I can unplug the computer, if I have to take the puppy out...where did I leave my umbrella, what if I get struck by lightening, what if he gets blown away, he is so little, how come Rodney is laying over there snoring while all of this is going on? Oh, I bet Sophie is scared too, there she is right by the bed, she is ok, I hope she doesn't wake up the puppy. And on and on and on. 

I did have to get up and take Wilson outside. I found my umbrella and he went potty and nobody was struck by lightening and nobody got blown away, we were just a little cold and wet. I did go back to sleep and woke this morning thinking what a nut job I am. I also woke with a nice little fever blister, which is usually the result of intense emotion. This week has been intense for me. It is too much to go into but I think I'm settling back into semi-normalcy. It is still raining out and doesn't appear that it is going to go away for the rest of the day. I shall embrace this rainy day with rainy day activities. I've got work to do at the shop and some things to do in the house, and I have planned on making a big pot of stew for dinner. As for the state of my mental health, I think that I'm just going to have to accept the fact that I am a high-strung person and find some ways to bring peace. Any ideas??

Puppy love

Now, I know I've been doing a lot of writing and picture-posting about my dogs lately...I still love the humans in my family so don't be alarmed. 

Things are going very well with our newest member, Wilson. He is winning us over more everyday with his sweet little puppy antics. It is really challenging to take pictures of him while he is awake because he won't get more than a few feet from me. I had to run from him, quickly get down on  his level and start shooting to get the above picture. He is sleeping better at night, is very quickly catching on to the house breaking and is learning what the words "no, no" mean. He was having a little tummy problem the last few days. I've taken advice from the vet and family friends and have been giving him pepto bismol, yogurt, and rice cereal and he is doing much better today. I don't think I've ever watched so intently or worried so much about the consistency of a puppy's poo, or been so happy when it looked normal. This is what my life has been reduced to. I wouldn't change it though because, if I haven't mentioned it before, I love this little guy. 

Sitting Charlotte

Remember I said I was going to post a picture of this? Ridiculous isn't it? I love it when she sits like this, it always makes me smile. Does it make you smile??

If it doesn't then you need to check your pulse and make sure your not dead. Just look at that baby sitting there. She almost looks like she needs a pacifier in her mouth. 

I just want to pick her up and squeeze her, I think I'll go do that now.