Friday, August 22, 2008
We saw this bird yesterday and everybody had an opinion of what it was. I had never seen any bird like it before so I just knew that nobody knew what they were talking about. We were leaving so didn't have a chance to get any binoculars to investigate any further. I saw him again this afternoon while I was cleaning and have identified it as a yellow-billed cuckoo. I love when I get to use my bird book to identify a new species of bird that I've not yet seen. I want to hear him cuckoo now so I'll be listening carefully while I'm out and about.
I had to clip my doggies yesterday. And when I say "had to" I really mean that. Charlotte was a breeze to clip so I did her first. She has much thinner more wiry hair so it is easy to comb out and clip. Sophie on the other hand...man oh man did we have a time. I thought that maybe I could get her combed out and do the regular schnauzer cut, but it became quickly apparent that this was no longer a matter of being pretty, but a matter of health and happiness, and probably a safety issue as well. I wish I would have taken a "before" picture of her. It was raining yesterday so I couldn't clip them outside and had to do the clipping in the bathroom. I put down and old sheet to catch the bulk of the fur and did we ever have fur. I would clip for a minute or so and pick up piles of hair and put them in the waste basket. Poor thing. She looks funny now but I know that she feels so much better. I let her go much to long because I was having trouble getting in touch with the lady who usually grooms them. Apparently she has another job now at the post office and is just doing grooming now and then. Anyway, poor Sophie must endure probably a month or so of this humiliating hair do but it will be worth it in the end.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I had a dream last night that has me now in a state of radiant bliss mixed with heartache and discontentment. See this little guy? In my dream last night we were cuddling and completely head-over-heals in love and now I feel like my life cannot possibly go on without him. It is aching so badly right now that I can't even stand it. What brought this on, I have no idea. A doggie angel perhaps? An unseen messenger coming to place images in my dreams that have me now whirling in panic over a puppy that I don't even know? I must say, I've got it bad bad bad. Perhaps this feeling will ease up or go away but usually when I get my mind this fixated on something to this magnitude, it will manifest itself before long. Rodney says maybe by Christmas we can afford it. AFFORD it??? This makes me more frustrated than anything. How can a little thing like money stand in the way of something so profound as this? I mean if this anxiety and heart wrenching love did come from above, how can we quarrel about something as petty as money? I guess now I can spend the next few months anticipating, wondering, loving, missing, needing at no cost whatsoever. It will be miserable, probably more for Rodney than me, but a day will come when we will finally be together for it was meant to be.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Where has the time gone? I remember the day we took these pictures and it seems like only yesterday. Today is the first day of school. Taylor is starting today as a sophomore and Kyle, a freshman, yet I can still vividly remember when they were only babies. I don't think that I have ever made it through a first day of school without shedding a tear, even when I was in school. It seems to mark a new chapter of life, a clear and distinct reminder that time is barreling by like a freight train and I am helpless to stop it. This morning was no exception. I was feeling quite fine about it all, going through a pretty normal morning of coffee and breakfast, making sure everybody was ready, and heading out the door. We drove to school like normal, singing to the radio and talking about what lay ahead for the day. It wasn't until they got out of the car and I started to drive away that it hit me like it always does, that pain of leaving them behind, leaving them in the care of others, letting them be individuals and depend on their own selves. It is the same feeling that I felt when I saw my mother drive away on my first day of school, any first day of school. I guess it has something to do with change. A step into the future, into what is to come and being unsure. Even though my heart felt pain, I thank God that I have such wonderful children that it causes me grief the be apart from them. I am also thankful that I have a full day of work ahead of me and that I can look forward to this evening when they will walk down my driveway and back into my arms again. For even though we must suffer times for being separated, we can always look forward to when we will meet again.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Many of you may know that Rodney has a daughter that was born before we were married. The story is long and full of tales of heartache and hurt but has now come full circle and seems to be pointing towards a happy ending. Rodney has loved her since the moment he found out that she would be born, but has been kept from her most of her life. We haven't seen her since she was very little but have kept her in our hearts and in our family all these years.
Taylor introduced me to "myspace" a couple of months ago and I was immediately intrigued and addicted to it. I discovered a week or so into my trek of uploading pictures and adding friends that you could search for people who also have myspace accounts. I immediately thought about searching for her and so the story began. Taylor and I were sitting at the computer and I said, "why don't we look for Aimee??" We did, and she was like the third person on the list! Our hearts were pounding as we stood in disbelief staring at her picture and questioning if if could really be her. Taylor sent a friend request and by the next day she had added her and we started communicating. She soon added me as well, and we all started to send each other messages and e mails everyday. Rodney was thrilled when we told him what we were up to.
The next big step was that she texted Rodney on his phone one evening which lead to him giving her a call. This phone call, I have to tell you, was life changing. I was in Dallas when it happened and was getting texts from her and calls from Rodney about the situation when Rodney asked if I thought it would be ok if he just called her. Of course I told him to go ahead and do it. Well, after they talked on the phone, I immediately got a text from Aimee and a call from Rodney. They were both hysterical, Rodney was in tears and so was she. It was precious.
The emotions of it all were so intense and led to many calls and texts and anxiousness to see each other. We had a few extra days between chicken batches this flock and decided to work it out and meet her in Huntsville. It was so awesome. SO so awesome. I can't even process it all, I can't imagine how Rodney is feeling. There is so much more to tell...so much. Rodney and Aimee stayed up until about 2:30 in the morning talking, crying, hugging. He said she was the only other woman that he has stayed up that late with talking to.
The bottom line is that I have a precious husband who is a wonderful father and now finally has the opportunity to be a friend to this precious soul who has been kept from him for so long. I can't wait to see what the years ahead will hold for them, for all of us.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
A constellation called God's eyeI am spending the day today in a hospital waiting room. I've, thankfully, only done this a few times in my life. My sweet cousin, Ron, is having a major surgery today on his spine. We were with him right up until the point that they wheeled him away to the operating room and I felt a tug at my heart strings as he disappeared from view. This can't compare, I'm sure, with the way his mother must have felt. She has been in this position so many times with him but it doesn't get easier with time. Each surgery is unique and special and nothing short of a miracle.
I know that God is with the surgeons' hands as they meticulously repair the parts of his body that were left undone at his birth. I love Ron so much. He had a small procedure yesterday where they put dye in his spine to take a picture of it, and he was texting me all during it, and said he couldn't wait to see me. So, I took a picture of myself and sent it to him and Judy, his mom, said that he kept it with him throughout the procedure. Why he loves me so much, I'll never know but it is a precious, innocent love that I will always cherish. I'm so honored that I have the love of so many people and that I have them to love.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
I didn't intend for my blog to be a place to post memories of my dead pets, however, I lost another dear one today and this is my place to put my stories. We got this rabbit when Taylor was in the 2nd grade, and she will be starting 10th in a couple of weeks. So, needless to say, she's been around a while. She lived in the house for a couple of years before we got her a hutch built for outside. Once she ran away and was gone for nearly a month. We, of course, thought that she had been eaten by coyotes or some other horrid fate, but then one day when the kids were out riding on the four-wheeler, there she was. She was skinny and covered in ticks, but she was fine.
I took this picture of her in '06. Mom needed a cute picture for a tea party invitation and asked me if I could do this for her. I had the tea pot and cup arranged with the daisies and thought, "this needs another element". I tried a kitty, but that didn't work, then I thought about my bunny. My heart was so thrilled when she started nibbling the daisies for this made such a lovely picture. I'll always remember that. She was a little cantankerous at times and would even chase the dogs, but she loved to be petted and scratched, and I loved to provide this service. Every morning I would pick her fresh grass and scratch her behind the ears for a little while, usually waiting for the goats to finish eating. I'll sure miss this little ritual, it was calming to me. I'm sure I'll end up with another bunny, somehow I can't seem to live without one. Mom has some pictures of her when she was little...she said she'd look for them and send them to me. Bye little bunny