Tuesday, November 11, 2008


A little after midnight last night, a storm showed up. The first thing that woke me was a loud boom of thunder, this is never a good thing for me to wake to. Middle-of-the-night storms are the worst, you don't know what's coming, you can't see what's happening, all you can do is listen to the wind and the thunder and pray that you will be spared some Wizard of Oz type fate. I was laying there awake, of course, then I thought "oh no, if Wilson wakes up, I'll have to take him outside in the rain to potty". Thinking this caused quite an anxiety episode and I started a long brain storming process...I was wondering "why I'm I laying here anxious about my puppy? Am I worried about the puppy? Wait a second, this is not the first time I've freaked out about a storm...I think I need professional help, where would I find a good mental health professional, I wouldn't be able to afford it, oh there's some more lightening, did I turn the computer off? I better go unplug it, I know I can't afford another one of those, I'm thirsty, if I get out of bed I might wake up the puppy, there you go worrying about Wilson again, what if HE is thirsty, should I wake him up? no, I read that you aren't supposed to wake a puppy, I guess I could go get a drink and while I'm up I can unplug the computer, if I have to take the puppy out...where did I leave my umbrella, what if I get struck by lightening, what if he gets blown away, he is so little, how come Rodney is laying over there snoring while all of this is going on? Oh, I bet Sophie is scared too, there she is right by the bed, she is ok, I hope she doesn't wake up the puppy. And on and on and on. 
I did have to get up and take Wilson outside. I found my umbrella and he went potty and nobody was struck by lightening and nobody got blown away, we were just a little cold and wet. I did go back to sleep and woke this morning thinking what a nut job I am. I also woke with a nice little fever blister, which is usually the result of intense emotion. This week has been intense for me. It is too much to go into but I think I'm settling back into semi-normalcy. It is still raining out and doesn't appear that it is going to go away for the rest of the day. I shall embrace this rainy day with rainy day activities. I've got work to do at the shop and some things to do in the house, and I have planned on making a big pot of stew for dinner. As for the state of my mental health, I think that I'm just going to have to accept the fact that I am a high-strung person and find some ways to bring peace. Any ideas??

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