Sunday, May 31, 2009

What I was missing

I'm pretty sure I've used the picture above in a previous blog, but it is a perfect example of my morning. I've been telling myself for over a month now that I was going to start waking up at 6:00 and going walking while it is still cool out, be home before 7:00 and get my day rolling. Summer is tricky sometimes, especially for someone like me who is completely non-self-disciplined. The kids don't have to be up at any certain time, having your own business allows Rodney and I to have a fairly loose schedule, so basically I'm left to my own determination. This is a good thing, but also a challenge. 

Yesterday, Taylor and I decided to go to Texarkana on a whim. Just go do a little shopping and get away from the farm for a few hours. We had an absolute ball just laughing and talking in the car, doing the few little errands that we went for and, well, just being together. One necessity on any venture to Texarkana is a visit to Starbucks. It is physically impossible to pass this up when we go to the big city for this is a luxury we don't have in our immediate midst. I knew when I did it that I would pay for it later, but boy was that Grande coffee with cinnamon and cream delicious going down. So, the payment came with a very restless night of sleep and my eyes popping open at 5:45 with no hopes of shutting them back. Incidentally, I also had a steroid shot a few days ago for poison ivy...needless to say that I was all "jacked up" this morning. I decided to take full advantage of my awakened state.

Did you know that it is light out at 5:45 this time of year?? I had no idea. I didn't even know what I had been missing all these mornings just lying in bed. Man is is pretty out there. The air is so cool and moist, I wish I could send you all a great big helping of fresh country morning air because it is a sweet as honey. The birds are rejoicing that the sun has returned and I've been missing all of it because of silly old sleep. My walk is now done for the day, coffee is brewing in the pot (the only coffee I'll have today thanks) Eddie is sleeping in my lap and I've got a couple of hours to study for my Bible school class this morning. What I'm hoping is that by this evening, I'll be completely exhausted, get to to sleep at a decent hour (sleep all night) and can do this again tomorrow morning. All you early risers out there don't think to harshly of me for having neglected the beauty of the mornings. And now I shall leave you all with one of my favorite poems that has a totally new meaning to me now. 

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay
.... Robert Frost

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Back Online

I'm not sure where to start now that I'm back online. We were without internet for two weeks, I felt like a cave person. So, now that I have reclaimed my cyber citizenship...all of my creative thoughts that have been suppressed for weeks are cluttering my brain and I don't know which ones to let out first. 
I guess I'll start with Eddie. The last couple of weeks have proven to change his appearance to that of a chunky, healthy, vibrant boxer puppy. His demeanor hasn't changed much though, he is still completely sweet, forever cuddly, and always making me laugh. I was thinking back on how devastated I was when I lost Wilson, how shocked I was when Jerico died so suddenly, and how I knew God would bring something good from it all. Now, as much as I loved my Wilson, if I was given the chance to take him back and give up Eddie...I don't think I could do it. There are so many examples of this that I can think of, how I felt like God was taking something from me, then before I knew it, something even better was put in it's place. This whole puppy episode has enlightened me to the greatness of God, His mercy and love. Funny how something so trivial can reveal such profound truths. 
I could sit here and spill forth the remainder of all that is occupying my thoughts but I shall attempt to pace myself. There are so many chores awaiting me today and I'm anxious to start checking things off the "list". I am so happy to be back in cyber space and I am sending all of you my love...did you feel it? Now go spread it around. 

Friday, May 15, 2009

Well, I've been wanting to blog for 3 days but I have been having moderate to severe network problems. I brought my computer with me to the job site in Gillham and am able to connect here. However, Dad is out shoveling dirt and sweating and I'm sitting on my butt so....
Just letting everyone know what is going on. 

Friday, May 8, 2009

Waiting for inspiration

I realized yesterday that I have neglected my blog but I am finding myself without inspiration to write. Usually when I sit down to blog, I am bursting with so many words that it must be expressed lest I die. I read a quote by Mark Twain just recently that states "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightening and the lightening bug." Well, that really made me reel with anxiety about the words I use. When writing, my thesaurus and dictionary get used frequently until I find that right word...the perfect word. 

So, when my inspiration is triggered, when that creative button gets pushed...I will be pouring it out into the ozone to be digested by any and all who will receive it. 

Friday, May 1, 2009

Catching the Train

About 4 years ago, I lost 40 pounds. It took me a whole year to do it and it was one of the hardest but most rewarding things I've ever done. I kept off the weight for a couple of years but over the past year I've gained about 20 of it back. When I was at my lowest weight, I swore I would NEVER go back to where I was, it felt way too good to be healthy. 

During my initial weight-loss, there was an overwhelming sense of urgency to "just do it". I have been trying to get that mind-set back and have been reflecting on what helped me to be so successful the first time around. One thing I remember was this feeling of momentum. I'll explain. The analogy is that of a train. Ok, when a train is sitting still on the tracks, it must use a tremendous amount of energy to get itself moving. It begins to move but it is slow, very slow. As it moves along it starts to gain speed, faster and faster. After a time, it uses much less energy and is being pushed along by it's own momentum. Once it gets going this fast, it takes a whole lot more energy to stop the train too. 

The hardest part is getting going! The hardest thing I've found about exercise is putting on my shoes and walking out the door. Once I'm out there, I'm ready to go...I don't ever get half way and wish I had stayed home. The daily exercise will create the momentum I need to keep going and keep doing it daily. Does that make sense?? I feel like I'm on my way but I am in that very delicate period where if I put on the brakes it won't take much to be sitting idle. I did weigh myself this morning and I've lost 2 pounds. If I keep this up I should be to my goal in about 10 weeks. Summer won't even be over! 

If you're following along with me I hope that you can push through the hard part and keep going. I know how it feels to want to work for a few days and expect to be able to fit into your skinny jeans already. The goal is a life-long commitment to health. Remember...loosing weight won't make you happy, getting healthy and happy will help you loose weight.