Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I had a dream last night that has me now in a state of radiant bliss mixed with heartache and discontentment. See this little guy? In my dream last night we were cuddling and completely head-over-heals in love and now I feel like my life cannot possibly go on without him. It is aching so badly right now that I can't even stand it. What brought this on, I have no idea. A doggie angel perhaps? An unseen messenger coming to place images in my dreams that have me now whirling in panic over a puppy that I don't even know? I must say, I've got it bad bad bad. Perhaps this feeling will ease up or go away but usually when I get my mind this fixated on something to this magnitude, it will manifest itself before long. Rodney says maybe by Christmas we can afford it. AFFORD it??? This makes me more frustrated than anything. How can a little thing like money stand in the way of something so profound as this? I mean if this anxiety and heart wrenching love did come from above, how can we quarrel about something as petty as money? I guess now I can spend the next few months anticipating, wondering, loving, missing, needing at no cost whatsoever. It will be miserable, probably more for Rodney than me, but a day will come when we will finally be together for it was meant to be.