Heart Failure

I purchased a calendar yesterday.

In case you weren't aware, tomorrow is a new year. Therefore, it was quite a practical purchase.

I happened to be at Books-a-Million so the choices of calendars was almost overwhelming.

That was until I saw one that said...

Just Boxer Puppies

Ok, that made my choice easier. That was until I opened it up and had a heart attack.

Brace yourself....

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Holy Moly. Oh, my fainting heart.

Oh soft wrinkling skin.

Oh sweet puppy lips

Oh paws and armpits of fur.

I tried to explain to Rodney that we should never be without Boxer puppies. There should be plenty on hand at any and all times. They should be in every room, around every corner, in my pockets, in my hair, and on my lap.

I don't think he understood.

For now, I will just swoon every time I look at my new calendar.

Happy 2010 to everybody!!

Bokeh

If you are not a follower of Pioneer Woman, you are really missing out on lots of smiles and inspiration. Inspiration is what us creative types are living for, it is our drug of choice. At least it is for me. I am a visual learner and I love when light bulbs go off in my brain, it makes me feel alive.

I love to read P.W.'s "confessions" because she blogs a lot about her dog, her kids, and her farm. It is life-affirming.

One of my other favorite things is her photography, because, she not only shares her own lovely photography but gives practical and very simple tips and tricks about how to create a beautiful and professional-looking photo.

So, today I am going to share my latest inspirational lesson with all 2 of my faithful followers.

Hi Mom!

Now, understand that I am an AMATURE photographer. I keep my camera close and I snap away at things that I think are pretty, cute, inspirational, or will make others gush and smile. If I like it, I assume there might be another person in the world that might like it too. I am not going to pretend that I know anything about apertures, shutter speed, or any other fancy camera settins, I just like what I like and push buttons until the picture looks like I want.

I learned a new photography word...ready?

Bokeh (BŌ -KĀ) the visual quality of the out-of-focus areas of a photographic image, especially as rendered by a particular lens.

In Jenni's terminology, it is those cool, out-of-focus, lit up thingys in the background.

It just so happens that Christmas lights happen to lend themselves greatly to this phenomenon.

If you love to look at beautiful, inspirational photography, I really encourage you to go to P.W.'s site and check out other peoples bokeh.

You can also visit Flickr to see thousands of breath-taking bokeh pics.

So here are my bokeh pics. Believe me, now that I have learned a little about how to create beautiful bokeh, I'll be in constant search of opportunities.

I am also thinking of leaving my Christmas tree up all year just so I can have this background

I haven't learned every secret but I figured one thing out...

you can use anything for your subject in the foreground

or you can have nothing in the foreground

just bokeh alone

big, soft, aesthetically pleasing bokeh

oh, then I remembered I had more than just white lights. It is just going to be a constant search for chances at bokeh photography, and I'm afraid this obsession may last for a while.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Well, here it is. Christmas Eve Eve Eve. Sometimes when I count eve's it makes me feel like I have more time, more Christmas time. It is this time of year that I wish I could make time stand still. Can't I just make it last and last?

Since I have no power over time, I have to become very present... make myself be in the moment. Something I really need to be doing all year long. Just be, simply enjoy the hour at hand. Make a memory.

Rodney and I are headed to the big city today to do the last of our shopping. When I woke up this morning, I was thinking "if I can just get this shopping done, then I can settle in and get in the Christmas mood". But then I thought "Wait, aren't I going to spend the day with my sweet husband? And aren't I going to be filled with thanksgiving for the family I am shopping for? Why rush through that?" Yes indeed, I must take in the air of this hour.

What I am praying for all of you is that you will be present this Christmas. I pray that you will make a memory that will warm your heart at even the coldest and hardest hours. My wish is that your hearts and homes will be filled with the love of God and of family. And when you are brimming with so much cheer, I pray that you will spill it out onto everyone in your path. If you happen to be short on cheer, I pray that you will give of yourself until you can't help but feel the love of Christmas.

Attack

Tis the season and all I seem to be blogging about is murder and attack!

One of my great loves in life are babies! Baby humans, baby dogs, baby kitties, baby ducks, baby chicks, baby cows, baby goats and on and on...

But...I haven't found a way to keep them babies, they all grow up. Some of them grow up and are still just as cute and sweet as ever, like Eddie. However, SOME grow up to become monsters.

Take this one for example, this is Mo...You all know him by now, I'm sure. Look how cute he was, and I stress was.

This is where I like my goats to be. Grazing in the pasture, happy and content and away from my house and my yard. There is something so peaceful about watching a herd of goats grazing in the field. But it is a challenge to keep them there. They are social creatures and, for some reason, they like ME.

They like me A LOT.

Except this one.

Just look at him standing there, looking at me out of the corner of his eye...hating me, planning evil things against me.

Once upon a time he was sweet. He liked simple things like a scratch on the head, a hand full of goat treats, a stroll down the road. But, like all men, that evil poison called testosterone began to course through his veins, and he turned into a monster.

Could it be.... satan? (said in my best church Lady voice)

Now, I'm not a wimp and I rarely let an animal get the better of me. I respect them and all their weird antics but I am ultimately the boss and they must respect that about me. Most of the time, they respect me in return. I feed them, I make sure they are well cared for, and usually we all get along very nicely.

Everybody except for Mo.

So this morning, I was cleaning out the goat pen. How nice of me to make sure that those sweet little goats have a nice clean facility to live in. Mo usually will make it clear that he does not like my being there, but I go about my business and ignore him completely. We have had a few minor run-ins with each other. He will get a little too aggressive and I will have to make it clear that I'm the boss. Sometimes with a boot, sometimes with the water hose (squirting him with it) sometimes with my shovel (pushing him out of my way).

There I am, tra la la la, I'm cleaning my goat pen, when Mo starts pushing me around. Well, I've got a job to do and I don't have time to be putting up with this mean ol goat. I got him to follow me out of the pen and shut the gate where he would be out of the way completely while I did my work. The thing is, once I've filled my wheelbarrow with the soiled shavings, I've got to go back out of the gate to dump it down the hill.

Darn, why didn't I think this through!

Oh, he won't bother me, he's just a goat! I'll be fine. This is my farm and I'll do what I want when I want and not be detoured by a silly old goat.

WRONG!

When I went back through the gate, he was really really mad. I mean really mad. I barely got my shavings dumped when I found myself in a battle.

I tried to get back through the gate before he could follow me...that didn't work out.

I tried to threaten him with my shovel...not a good idea

Did I mention that he was mad?

He penned me between the fence and himself. OH, and he has big horns too!

I finally wriggled my way out of that and thought it was over

WRONG AGAIN!

Have you ever seen a big, mad, mean goat with long horns rare up in an attempt to annihilate you? It's not funny.

So now, I run!

I run really fast.

Not fast enough. Goats are fast. (or maybe I'm slow)

When I woke up this morning, the furthest thing from my mind was that I would be running for my life from a goat.

Oh Lord, don't let this be how I die! I can see the headlines now WOMAN ATTACKED BY GOAT. I'll go down in the redneck hall of fame. My children will be so ashamed.

So, it was at this point that I started to scream. I was running AND screaming with a goat hot on my trail.

Go ahead and laugh.

Luckily Taylor is home from school today and heard my cries for help. After a few more laps and a few more horn-punches to my legs and arms, I made it to the gate that leads to my yard but the stupid goat penned me again. And then my hero arrived. Taylor showed up, eyes as wide a saucers, and assisted in letting me out of the goat pen.

Stupid goat!

I called Rodney and told on Mo. We are going to build a pen for him later down at the barn so he will be separated from my sweet little does. Incidentally, I've got one of my dairy goats locked up in the birthing room expecting kids very soon.

As for Mo...He is lucky I'm a pacifist.

Murder

WARNING: some of the images posted in this blog may be considered to be objectionable or offensive by some readers. Not for the faint of heart.

I have seen some gruesome things in my life. Calf-pulling, deer-gutting, road-kill, child-birth, toddlers vomiting in the toy box at 3 a.m. and on and on. Farming and parenthood is not for the squeamish.

This morning, I was horrified by what I found in my living room floor. Please be aware the the images you are about to see are quite disturbing

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Oh, the massacre!!

The pure carnage!!

Oh, the facial lacerations!

Oh, the disembowelment!

...and who could have committed this heinous crime??

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WHO ME?? Precious, sweet, darling, little ol' me?

Under that cute and lovable exterior, lies the heart of a killer.